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I just……….

Ebay is a great thing. And I understand that sometimes people sell things because they need money.

Some of the items don’t bother me at all; things associated with Professional Jeanette especially. There are things I’d like to buy or that I plan on bidding on.

But I have never, ever felt more protective of this person than I do right now.

Seeing her little cookbook, all full of clippings and tape and notes, out for the highest bidder, breaks my heart more than anything I’ve seen so far. The fact that she had nobody to give these things to except fan club presidents breaks my heart. Things like that should be handed down to someone who will treasure them, not sold for profit. The idea that people are swarming like hungry sharks for things like a canceled check that proves that she paid her effing water bill………what IS this??? How messed up is this? Treasuring the PERSON, not the stuff, is what makes this cool. I’m a collector too, guys, and Lord KNOWS if anyone gave me any of this stuff I would treasure it and take care of it, but I just find the auction format so, so, so distasteful for certain of these things. I find the “we don’t care where this goes or who buys it as long as we get paid” mentality cruel. That’s probably my horse background; I’m very anti-auction. In this case, it’s fine for so many things—I love Ebay—but this doesn’t feel right to me.

As a friend just pointed out in a text, it’s like she’s dying for the last time. Seeing a collection of her things like this makes her feel so alive for a moment, and then when you realize that it’s exclusively to make money, it feels like a violation. Speaking of violating her, $250.00 for her Social Security Card is 57 kinds of sick, weird, exploitative and upsetting. How weird and creepy do you feel right now, People of Ebay, that you have Jeanette’s SSN and banking information?

It’s one o’clock in the morning and I am just upset. I need to go to bed.

I knew this was coming, this “living estate” going to auction. I just didn’t expect to have such an emotional reaction to it.

You are loved, Jeanette.